Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The talk with Cynthia

This is my 2nd post for today. My TMI Tuesday post is below this one so please check that out too.

Coffee with Cynthia was just like I thought it was gonna be. She made small talk and tried to gossip with me about some stuff but really I was just interested in what she had wanted me to meet her for. I mean I wasnt going to be like really rude and tell her to cut the pleasantry bullshit and get on with what she wanted to talk to me about but holy mother was I sure thinking it. So after about like 30 minutes of not a lot of response from me from her chitter chatter she took another sip of her iced coffee and cleared her throat.

Cynthia: "Well I guess I should start into what I wanted to talk to you about now."

Me: "That would be great."

Cynthia: "I guess you know I'm dating ."

Me: "Yeah we found out the night we ran into you at the bar. We waited to see who you were gonna come out with once we left from inside."

Cynthia: "Yeah I know I saw you guys in the parking lot and I really didnt want you to find out that way but I didnt know you guys were gonna be there."

Me: "Were you ever gonna tell me about this?"

Cynthia: "Kel I mean yeah I woulda done it eventually but well I know how you would be about it so me and thought it would be best to figure out a good way to go about telling you."

Me: "There is NO good way to tell me youre dating him! You like totally have to know that makes me feel so awful that you could be with someone who treated me bad and caused our relationship to end badly. It hurts me to know that you can over look the pain and heart ache he caused me and be with him. You let me cry on your shoulder so many nights because of him before and after it was over. You consoled me and tried to convince me I was too good for him and that I needed to leave him and find better. You helped me through the break up when I was so upset and sad. Then on top of that you totally did this behind my back and then you just like hid it from me all this time. I feel so betrayed by this."

Cynthia: "I dont know what to say Kel. I honestly saw this whole thing going different in my head. I know I thought he was awful for you but I got to know him better and I understand him more and hes not such a bad guy and hes so hot too. I mean thats only a bonus but hes just not what I thought he was. Im sorry your hurt by this and Im so sorry you feel like I have betrayed you but dont you want me to be happy? Cant you be happy for me that I have found someone to be with and be happy with? As one of my best friends dont you want me to be happy Kel?"

Me: "Oh my gosh your trying to make me feel guilty about being upset about this."

Cynthia: "Well not so much but I mean really dont you think your over reacting some?"

Me: "No I dont. You are not supposed to date your close friends exs! You dont do that. You know youd be pissed at me if I did something like this to you."

Cynthia: "I dont know that for sure. Im sorry Kel. I didnt want this to impact our friendship like this because I knew you would feel this way and thats why I tried to hide this from you. So you wouldnt find out and you wouldnt be hurt."

Me: "I did find out. You did hurt me. You did betray me. And you know the worst part about it is you like don't even care or seem like you feel bad at all about any of this."

Cynthia: "I dont know what to say. Im sorry I guess."

Me: "You guess? You guess? Wow you really didnt think this out. I hope I wasnt like some push over pansy in your scenario of how this was gonna play out in your head. You should totally know me better than that by now. Especially since you like to refer to me as like one of your best friends."

Cynthia: "I do Kel. Your like a sister to me honest."

Me: "You would do this to your sister? I guess its a good thing you only have brothers then."

Cynthia: "Wow Kel that was....."

Me: "Mean? Harsh? Bitchy? Yeah it was but I dunno it sounds kinda appropriate given what you just said to me. Im sorry though I didnt want this to get like all catty and stuff so I apologize for stooping like down to that. Im gonna go back home now."

Cynthia: "I will think about all of this and call you so we can talk again and really soon."

Me: "Sure."

Cynthia: "Kel please think about what I have said and please just think about everything in general about you and me and him and just... yeah, everything."

Me: "You do the same. See ya Cyn."

That was how that all went down. Ok maybe I didnt totally anticipate all of that but like I thought it would go something like that and I dont even really know why but I just had like the feeling. I dont know what I should do and Im not sure if I am like over reacting or not. I guess I really need to think about this more.

Right now I need to get some food in my tummy because I havent eaten much all day. I could totally go fatty style and go hit up a drive through and enjoy some cheap greasy goodness. I totally dont eat fast food often because its not that good for one lol. Also because its like unhealthy and stuff but once in a while I do get some. I think a burger and some eggrolls from Jack in the Box sounds hella good right now lol.

Oh I changed aound some stuff on my blog too before I wrote this post lol. I added some more little icons and added a blogroller thing instead of using bloggers links to add them on. I rearanged the order of the pics and other stuff too. I think it looks a little cluttered now so I might do some more work on it later on. :)

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